I will call this it.

God does not call us to love when we feel like it. His call to us is not conditional on anything, except, perhaps, His love for us. But that is not really what I read.

Matthew 22:36-40
Jesus did not say, "When you are having a good day, let your friends know you care about them."

He did not say, "I know you will have some tough days, so you can just take it easy on those days, and if someone gets on your nerves, just let them have it!"

But He did say, "[L]ove your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."

I read that God calls and commands us to love all the time. Everyday, good days and bad. Sunny days and rainy days. Happy days and sad days. Now, the way that you love may change from one day to the next, or from one person to the next, but the theme is love. A genuine desire for the better of another. Nah, I'll just look it up, let us see what the dictionary says (I'm not sure if this will help my case though):

Love

noun

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

(and later in the list, #9 actually) affectionate concern for the well-being of others

Affection seems to be a common theme here. Do I feel affectionate towards my enemies?

Oh but Nick, do you have any enemies?

Well does it matter? But also, who do I consider my enemies? Perhaps an opponent in a debate, a person who does not look favorably toward me, someone who makes me uncomfortable, that person who cuts in and out of traffic while driving well above the speed limit. Those people that just rub you the wrong way, sandpaper people, as I have heard them called. Do I really feel affection towards them?

Let's be honest, no, I don't. And I don't like that. I want to feel love and affection towards those who make me feel upset or uncomfortable. I want to show them something that is not expected or even found in this shriveled mess of a world. You have to look somewhere else for that kind of love.

You may have to search for that kind of love. You may have to fight to get that kind of love. (After all, there is an antithesis for that love, and the One who gives that love has many enemies. And they do not want you to know that great love of that Great One.) However, once you have experienced that love...that tender affectionate concern for your well-being...well, as it was said in the Lion King, "If he falls in love tonight/It can be assumed/His carefree days with us are history/In short, our pal is doomed."

Things will change. Priorities, choices, friends, even your thoughts. The very words that swim around in your head and come out of your mouth will be changed, will be transformed into something new, something better. (Romans 12:2)

And I am undergoing that change. It hurts, and sometimes I feel like I want to just sleep and let everything pass over me. And it is happy; there are days when I feel like my sides are exploding from how much I am laughing. There are times when I literally feel the breath squeezed out of my lungs because of the affectionate hug of a friend. There are times when I am alone, but I feel the greatest comfort, knowing that my Father is always with me and will never leave me. I have the comfort of knowing that even when I cannot see, hear, feel or touch Him, my God, my Savior, and my Friend is there for me. And what is given into His hands cannot be taken away.

Psalm 23; 116

Romans 8:18, 28