It's been a while... part II

Colossians 1:21-23 (NIV)-
Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

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In the previous blog I didn't discuss the second part of these verses...I'm gonna try and do that now. 

So, we have been reconciled by Christ and are now seen by God as holy and free of blemish or accusation... "if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel."

This is the second part of what is so amazing about God's grace. He sees us as holy and blameless...and we just have to have faith. I think sometimes the word "faith" is seen as vague and nebulous and something very intangible. But I don't think it has to be that way.

James wrote, "I will show you my faith by my deeds." (chapter 2, second part of verse 18)

Faith isn't something that just happens in our minds. It isn't something that just happens inside of us - it starts on the inside, and grows and changes us and as it does we start looking different from the outside (not physically, of course). 

Faith is like a cookie, in a way. If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk. If you have faith in God and believe that He is who He says He is, then you will want to worship Him. You will probably want to tell others about Him. It also seems likely that you would want to follow His advice and suggestions on how to live better. 

So, when Paul says that God sees us as holy - as long as we continue in our faith - I don't think he is saying that we just have to say that we believe in God and go to church and say the words on the screen and maybe attend a Bible study or something. Paul's faith wasn't something that affected part of his life. His faith changed him from killing and imprisoning others to being imprisoned and beaten (and eventually killed).

One of my former Bible study leaders said a couple times that the Bible is like a mirror. You hold it up and it will show you yourself and your flaws. But when you try to hold it up to someone else and see their flaws, it gets distorted and doesn't give a clear picture, because it isn't meant for you to use it to change others. It is meant to change you, to make you look at yourself and look at God and maybe see something/someone greater than your current self, and hopefully want that potential to become reality. 

It's been a while since I blog'd

Colossians 1:21-23 (NIV)-
Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

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Wow. Ok now I don't want to be cheesy, but seriously this is crazy. The crazy part isn't even that we were God's enemies - to me, it is that we are now "holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation..." Wow.

I have a hard time believing that, most of the time...you know what I mean? But when I actually take the time to think through it, to sort of have a conversation with God about it (I'll explain), then it seems to make sense and I can start to believe that truth about myself, at least for a time. To me it is like, how could God forgive me for being so selfish and prideful and angry? I mean, He sees my inmost thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. Of all people/beings, God has the most right to say, "No, you have done too much wrong to be forgiven."

But that's not what He says...He says, "Come now, let us settle the matter...Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." (Isaiah 1:18)

He says that what He did on this earth and on the cross was (more than?) enough to forgive me for the terrible things I've done and thought and said and even all of the things I should have done but didn't do. He says that if that wouldn't have been enough to forgive all of the sin, He wouldn't have done it. Jesus didn't leave heaven and live and die on earth so that we could be partially forgiven and then work to try and make up the rest. That'ts not how it works. That's not how God forgives, and that is not what grace is. You know the song, "Amazing Grace"? There is a reason for the title of the song.

So here is another set of Bible verses that kind of does a good job of showing what grace is like. The prophet Elisha is helping out the king of Israel, but the king of Aram doesn't like this, so he sends an army to capture Elisha.

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2 Kings 6:15-22

When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked.

“Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

As the enemy came down toward him, Elisha prayed to the Lord, “Strike this army with blindness.” So He struck them with blindness, as Elisha had asked.

Elisha told them, “This is not the road and this is not the city. Follow me, and I will lead you to the man you are looking for.” And he led them to Samaria.

After they entered the city, Elisha said, “Lord, open the eyes of these men so they can see.” Then the Lord opened their eyes and they looked, and there they were, inside Samaria.

When the king of Israel saw them, he asked Elisha, “Shall I kill them, my father? Shall I kill them?”

“Do not kill them,” he answered. “Would you kill those you have captured with your own sword or bow? Set food and water before them so that they may eat and drink and then go back to their master.” So he prepared a great feast for them, and after they had finished eating and drinking, he sent them away, and they returned to their master. So the bands from Aram stopped raiding Israel’s territory.

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On a side note, here is some more music I downloaded recently:
http://noisetrade.com/gungormusic
http://noisetrade.com/jasongray
http://noisetrade.com/colortherapy
http://noisetrade.com/jarsofclay

Questions, questions, questions

I'm going to title this after I write it, mainly because I don't know what I'm going to write/blog about right now.

Ok, I got it.

So I've been reading this book lately called Velvet Elvis. It is written by Rob Bell, who is a pastor at a church called Mars Hill (I'm pretty sure) and has written other books and made some video Bible study things too. So anyway, in this book he is just spilling some of his thoughts about Christianity and what it means to be a Christian and what Christian faith looks like.

One of the points he just made was that Christian faith is like a trampoline - it isn't rigid, but has room to flex and bend. Trampolines work by getting on them and jumping on them and doing things that may not be entirely safe, but you don't experience a trampoline by standing next to it and talking about it. Also, the springs in a trampoline help it to work, but without any one spring it would still work. Springs are like specific beliefs about Jesus/God/Bible and that sort of thing.

For example, he said that he once heard someone say that if the earth/universe was not created in 6 24-hour days, then none of the Bible is true and Jesus didn't live or die on the cross. He says that is more like a brick wall; when you take out one piece, the rest of it crumbles down too.

So anyway, with the trampoline idea, he says that part of having faith is also having doubts. Having doubts isn't a bad thing, and asking questions isn't a bad thing. Asking questions means you acknowledge that you don't have all the answers, and you are having to look outside yourself for help in some way. He also says that through asking questions we should come to truth, and since God is truth, it is good to ask questions. He clarifies this by saying that 'questions' doesn't mean things like "Can God make a rock so big that even He couldn't lift it?" (CS Lewis would reply that nonsense remains nonsense even if you try to put God in it.)

Rob Bell says that the kind of questions we should be asking are the ones that come from our hurts, our confusion, our wonder about God. They should be real, things that either we want to know about God or we don't understand about God or are keeping us from getting to know God. Something like that.

And I think that is a good point. There isn't anything wrong with asking questions, and by asking questions, we keep moving in our relationship with God and with others. You can't have a discussion without a question (or at least a starting question). And since God is truth, and God doesn't have any boundaries or limits or whatever, our questions usually lead to more questions (this is Rob Bell's point, not mine).

So yeah...I want to try to ask more questions. I haven't been doing that lately, I think. I haven't been wrestling with ideas about God and the world and the universe and life and what it looks like to live in a way that shows love to God and shows love to other people..

and that takes me to the song, "Live Like That" which I think I have posted the lyrics to somewhere on here.

Jude (1:)20-21- But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

Beware of Christians!

Website: bewareofchristians.com
It is "a movie about leaving religion to follow Jesus"

How about that! Anyway, I watched the movie a while ago and took some notes. Here are those notes...

What happens when we give up on religion and try following Jesus? (and what does that look like? in a day to day aspect, what does it look like to give up religion and follow Jesus?)

An observation: we (Christians) are just as crazy about worldly stuff as everyone else. (obviously this is a generalization, but those do come from the general trend of things. So I think it is worth considering.)

Why don't we ask older people who have been through it before? (when it comes to getting through tough situations and handling things we aren't sure about; why do we go to others who are still trying to figure things out, instead of those who at least have the benefit of hindsight? I think the reason is pride/selfishness.)

If physical intimacy is for marriage, how can we have a physical relationship (and feel ok about it)? (also, what does it mean to have a physical relationship?)

Jesus didn't come to establish a new religion, He came to establish the Kingdom of God. (I think this is a big one that nearly everyone looks over at some point or another.)

What is our role, as Christians, to the poor? --> You wouldn't let your friend be cold or starving or thirsty, would you?

What does it look like to put Jesus in the parts of our lives that we are trying to keep Him out of?

[As Christians, we should be] living for something much bigger than [our own lives/happiness]. (the thing I actually wrote was "we're living for something much bigger than ourselves." but I think some explaining is helpful)

And then a bunch of Bible verses that, if I remember correctly, gave a rough outline of the different parts of the movie: Acts 2:42, Luke 12:34, Jeremiah 17:9, 1 John 2:15, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

And lastly: (I wrote this on top of a t-shirt design because I ran out of room on the flyer the gave us) Would you say that [insert name of person here] is not a Christian because of their actions?
Likewise, would someone looking at your life say that you aren't a Christian based on your actions?

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One of my former Bible study leaders liked to give the analogy that the Bible is like a mirror. As we look into it, it shows us a reflection of who we are and where we are flawed. However, if you try to use the Bible to look at other people, it doesn't work that way; the reflection gets distorted because that is not how its supposed to be used. Does that make sense? He can explain it a lot better than I can.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." -Jesus (Matthew 7:1-5)

Where is the church?

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
Acts 2:42-47
Have you ever seen something like that? Let me tell you, right now, I am longing for that. I dearly desire to have fellowship and have everything in common and work and sell things to help those who don't have as much as I do. I want all of that, with the love of God at the center of it all. Where is the church?

"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need."
Acts 4:32-35
Have you ever seen anything like this? No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had... God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them. Have you seen anything like this, ever? Have you seen a group of people so motivated by God's love that they lived in complete communism (yes, that is what it is, but if I am wrong, please correct me) so that everyone had what they needed?? Right now, I am longing for that.

Does anyone else feel that intense desire for a real church? Am I the only one who wants to live in a community, a real community with communism and the like, with God and His great love and mercy at the center of it all? I want that so much...but I know that my desire alone is not enough to do it.

What if instead of going to church, we became the church??

Spoudazo app finished!

And here is the devotional I wrote for it, if you are interested:


“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Romans 10:9-10 NIV

I think it is easy for us to read this verse and say, ok, here is the check list: 1) tell someone that Jesus is Lord, 2) believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead. Boom, done, hello heavenly dwelling. Right?
But there is so much more to this than Paul lets on. Simply saying “Jesus is Lord,” is easy, anyone can do that, and anyone can choose not to mean that when they say it, or they may not fully understand what it means to follow up those words with action (See James 2). Likewise, what does it mean to “believe in your heart that God raised [Jesus] from the dead”?
I think it is more than simply accepting that Jesus died for you and washed your sins away, so that now you are holy in God’s sight. Jesus’ resurrection was (one of?) the last miracle(s) He did while He was physically on this earth. If you truly believe in the resurrection of Christ, then what does that say about all the miracles He did before that one? Do you believe in those too? And if you believe in all of the previous miracles He did (after all, if He could come back from the grave, what is turning water into wine or feeding thousands of people with a couple loaves of bread?), then do you believe the things He said as well? And if you believe the things He said, do you follow His advice? CS Lewis once said, “There would be no sense in saying you trusted Jesus if you did not take His advice.”
So I ask you, what is Jesus advising you to do? Has He advised you to do something recently that you have not done? Good news, He is patient and merciful, and He allows second tries. If you faltered previously, spend some time with God and ask for another chance. Ask that He would change your heart so that you would desire to follow His advice, and listen for His voice.

Blue Like Jazz comes out in 1 week!

I want you to enjoy this with me, so check out the trailer :)



Unfortunately, I do not think the movie will be opening in Lincoln :( which makes me very sad..

12 Step Program

So, in a Bible study I go to, we recently started going over The(?) 12 Step Program to help a person get past an addiction. It is popularly known by its use in Alcoholics Anonymous, and the leaders/hosts of the Bible study have both been through AA and are recovering alcoholics - they have personal experience with the program and its success.
The 12 Step program was mentioned in my Abnormal Psych class the other day, but the grad student who was giving the lecture (My professor focuses on a different subject matter and is starting to invite guest lecturers in to cover topics he is not as familiar with.), she mentioned that the 12 step program was good for people who are at a point where they want to get help and get past an addiction, but that the program had been criticized for its emphasis on spirituality, which is not for everyone.

And that is what I want to vent about, sort of. Because when I hear something like, "Spirituality/Religion/God is not for everyone," what I am actually hearing is "The truth is not for everyone." And I am strongly against that stance. I believe that everyone deserves to hear and know the truth. But, I don't think that the person/people who would make a statement like the first would understand that I transition to the second almost instantly. And this, I think, is the underlying issue. Or at least one of them.

The issue I talk about the is question about whether or not there is absolute truth. Is it an absolute truth that God, heaven, and hell exist, or do they just exist for me because I believe in them? (the second part being a relativistic truth system)
I've been thinking about it lately, sort of. I can come up with several arguments against that idea, the one about relative truth, but I have a hard time coming up with arguments for that idea. I would like to think that this is one of a few discussions that I don't know much about both sides while still holding a firm stance, but I don't know for sure. That being said, if you have any arguments for the idea of relative truth (regardless of your personal beliefs), I would be happy to hear them, because I don't want to just rant at nothing.

Relative truth. What I believe exists for me, and what you believe exists for you. Everyone wins, right? But what happens when I try to do that with a physical object? You throw a baseball at me, and I will choose to believe that you did not throw a baseball at me. Now, depending on your accuracy, I will get hit with a baseball. That is what happens, physical things do not disappear simply because we choose not to believe in them. (haha the idea of the cat in the box comes to mind...but I think that has more to do with atomic/nuclear things rather than spiritual things. I could be wrong, feel free to correct me.)
If you choose to believe that the speed limit is 50 mph and drive accordingly, you will still get pulled over if you are driving on a street where the speed limit is 35 and there is a police vehicle watching for speeders. Your beliefs do not change reality. Neither do mine. We will still be held accountable for speeding, even though we may choose to believe otherwise. (possible circumstances where you don't get a ticket: you are not from the area and did not know what the speed limit was, maybe you bribe the police officer or something else illegal, like running away. There are probably more.)

So, does this idea apply to spiritual/religious/God things as well as physical things? Obviously I think so... If I would choose to believe that God did not exist, that I did not have a soul that endures beyond my physical body, that would not change the reality of those things. If I choose to believe that God will not find out or punish me for doing something like running over pedestrians while driving 50 in a 35, that does not change the reality that I will receive punishment for such things. (Now here is where the Gospel comes in. Interesting, because I never intended to make that point. God is pretty neat :P )

As a side note: I am assuming the presence of a spiritual reality, which I know is not agreed upon by all. I can write another blog about why I believe that, but you may have to ask me to or let me know somehow or another. But this one is about truth.

So what is truth? Jesus claimed He was truth. Jesus claimed that He was the only way to the Father (God). (Another possible tangent: Was Jesus being close-minded? Was He being arrogant in saying He is the 'only way'?) Jesus said that He was the one that the Jewish prophets talked about when they talked about a sacrifice that would be sufficient for all sin, for all people. They talk about a person who is God incarnate, someone who is a ruler and a king, someone who is a servant, who is beaten and ultimately executed. This is the same someone, and many believe that Jesus is the person they were describing. Jesus said that He is/was the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and that no one comes to God except through Him (John 14:6). That sounds pretty absolute. And if Jesus was serious, and correct, about the claims He made, then shouldn't we take them seriously? Shouldn't we look at what Jesus claimed before we try to dismiss Him as some other crazy guy who thought he was God? What merit does Jesus, or the Bible, have? I think these questions are worth answering because, again, if what is in the Bible is true, and if what Jesus said is true, then it is of the utmost importance.

Conglomerate n. - a bunch of things

husband and wife, God and church - insults/disrespect
So today I was thinking about what might happen if someone were to insult my wife. (I was thinking about the future.) I feel like, depending on who it is and what is said, I would have to restrain myself from punching them right in the mouth. Or at least the face. Now, for those of you that don't know me well, I don't get angry/violent about much. That, however, would make me pretty mad. But no one is going to treat my wife that way.
And then a thought came to me: How does God feel when His bride is insulted or disrespected? I'm sure He is quite upset about it. I mean, His love far surpasses any sort of love that I will ever feel. And since God is outside of time, things that hurt don't exactly go away with the passage of time, as I understand things. (The idea comes from something I am pretty sure CS Lewis wrote, that we are under the illusion that our sins are somehow not as bad after 'enough time' passes.) Honestly, I feel kind of sorry for anyone who insults, disrespects, or imitates the bride of Christ. Because God has said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them."

beauty and nature
At another point in time today, I was thinking about just enjoying the weather and nature and the earth and sunshine. I wanted to stand barefoot in the grass and feel the warmth from the sun and the grass by my feet. I wanted to relish in it, to enjoy it, to take it in, to be healed. Being there (in my head), I could only wonder, How could someone take all this in and not think that there is purpose behind it? And I heard a reply, How can you see all this and say, 'Oh, there must be a God.'? And the truth is, I don't. But I also don't see how you can see all this and say, 'There is no purpose, it all happened by chance. This is a chance collection of atoms that has no reason to be.'
And then I thought, where does that sense of beauty and awe of nature come from in the first place? Why are people so moved to keep trees and the land alive so that they even stand in front of large machines or tie themselves to trees or something else like that? Why is it of such consensus that the earth is a valuable resource, that nature is good to look at and appreciate? Why is it that things like art and music appeal so much to so many? I want you to wonder that as well. Why do we appreciate and desire things that are given the quality of 'beautiful' or 'beauty'? Where does that even come from?

finding something of substance in conversations -I think I desire close relationships instead of frivolous friendships
Lately, I have noticed that I have not been as patient around others as I normally am. I'm going to be honest here, and I hope you can handle it. I don't say it to be insulting or disrespectful, I just want to be open and honest. Because I desire openness and honesty. I desire relationships that are worth something to me, that are deep and meaningful and have truth at their core. I don't want frivolous friendships far and wide.
Lately, I have noticed that I seem to get irritable around groups of more than 4 people when I am with them for more than about 10 minutes at a time. I noticed that I feel like I am forcing laughter, rather than feeling it and expressing it. I don't like that. I kept thinking - and realized that perhaps it was more that I just wanted to be around certain people, that I wanted to know certain people more and let them know that they are valued and appreciated and desired. (On a side note, maybe I'm shallow, but I don't think that is what is happening here. I may write another blog about that.)
I realized that because I know I haven't gotten irritable around everyone I've been with. There are a few people that I enjoy being with, and that I want to be with more. There are a few relationships that I feel are about to be even better than they were before, and I am eager to have that happen. I desire relationships that are real, that are honest and open, that involve maturity and immaturity. I desire relationships that are not based on something stupid like school or a job or which dining hall I go to. I want relationships that are deep, that are connecting and push me to be a better person.

And the relationship I want to grow the most is my relationship with God. I feel like I have almost forgotten who He is and what He wants for me. I feel like God is looking toward me and saying, "When can we hang out and talk? I miss you." And I miss God too...

Prayer, Giving, and Deeds

Let's look at a few chapters from Matthew (specifically 5-7). This is sometimes referred to as the Sermon on the Mount, from what I understand. In it, Jesus talks about many things, and to name a few of those things, prayer, giving to the poor, and doing works. Prayer, Jesus says, is to be done in a personal place, away from others. Not on street corners, because if you do it there, you get recognition from people. God recognizes what is done in secret as well as in public. Jesus says that giving to the poor should not be proclaimed, but done so secretly that one hand will not even know what the other hand is doing. When it comes to doing works/deeds, Jesus says that we (Christians/those who follow God and do His will) are the light of the earth, and to not hide our deeds. By letting others see our deeds, that will bring praise to God, which is a very good thing. Later on, Jesus talks about how you can recognize who is a false/true prophet by the things that that person does. He says you know a tree is an apple tree because you see apples on it. Likewise, you can see that a person is serving God if they do things that are in line with God's character. However, just after that, Jesus says that there will be people who, on the day of judgement, will proclaim the things they did 'in God's name' but who will be denied by Jesus because, "[He] never knew [them.]"

So I am sensing something of a tension...or at least something that I have not been taught before. Praying and giving are not deeds that should be seen by others. They should be done for God's glory, not public recognition. Yet Jesus still said that we are to show others who we serve. This is something I am still learning how to do.

Where are you headed?

No witty comment to begin this blog. Maybe I'll come up with something later.

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So I've been thinking lately. I've been thinking about where my current habits are going to end me up. I've been thinking about what I'll be like after spending hours in my room for days at a time. I've been thinking about what will happen to my relationships if I don't see my friends except for two or three times a week. And I don't like where those thoughts lead. Because let's be honest, they don't lead somewhere that I want to be.

So, to quote Sanctus Real, "It's time to face up, clean this old house/Time to breathe in and let everything out/That I've wanted to say, for so many years/Time to release all my held back tears. Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace. You're up to something bigger than me, larger than life, something heavenly." (I may have changed verses/chorii part way through that.)

So I want to make a change. Actually no, I don't. I want to make several changes, and I want the first one to be spending more time with God. Because, again, let's be honest, if any changes are made without first consulting the wisest, most good being in the universe, then those changes aren't going to be the best changes that can be made. And I'm not one to settle for less when it comes to living my life. I've settled enough, and I know I will again, cuz I am sinful and selfish, and neither of those things are anywhere close to best. I know I will struggle, but I want to change.

And God is faithful, I know this: And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6 NLT)

The work Paul is talking about is called sanctification, and I like to think of it as our very selves being changed from sinful to righteous and holy. Another way to look at it, as the prophet Ezekiel put it is that our hearts are being changed from hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. CS Lewis made an analogy that we are tin soldiers that God is changing into blood-and-flesh soldiers. In either case, we are being changed from what is lesser to what is greater. Yet we still fight it :/

So I ask you tonight: Where is your life going right now? If you don't make changes in your habits/behaviors/thoughts/words, where are you going to end up? And if that answer scares you or makes you sad, what changes have to be made to prevent that answer from happening?

To read another blog about the topic of what effect our choices now have on our lives, check out Travis Ray's blog.

Scripture to consider: Proverbs 3:5-6 -What do these verses mean for your life?

Stewardesses

I think that is the longest word that one can type with their left hand on a QWERTY keyboard. Fun stuff.

I read a devotional by Oswald Chambers yesterday. It talked about what to do when we are going through a time of darkness. Now, I don't believe he simply meant the time between sunset and sunrise, but a darkness of emotions or perhaps spiritual fervor? I don't know how to explain it, but I think most people understand what I mean when I say those times when you are feeling down. That is what I think he is saying.

He starts with this: Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him.

Ok, fair enough. And then he ends that first section with, "When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else once you are back in the light."

I think that is the part I focus on. I want to know who I am going to help, who God wants me to speak to. I want to know what part I have to play in His plan. I want to know how I can help and encourage those around me and those that I appreciate. But I don't think God tells us those things. The times in the Bible when that happens that come to mind for me are: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Paul/Saul, Jesus, David....I think that is it. That is all that comes to mind for me. Let me know if you think of any others.
But that is not what God often tells us. Usually He just says, 'Go.' Read the book of Acts for some examples of that. (Did He say that to Isaiah too? Chapter 6 in Isaiah may talk about it.) Sometimes He seems to remain oddly quiet while we are just searching around with outstretched hands, trying to find a wall to lean against. But sometimes, He may just give us a message to proclaim. He may give us a person to talk to. He may give us an idea, a desire to do something more than what we are currently doing. But whatever He does give us or tell us to do, I think we should always remember that it is good.

God doesn't make mistakes. God makes everyone unique, in a good way. But we are broken and tainted by the sin of this world and the sin of our own lives. We do make mistakes. And God knows that. And God still came to this earth to take our sins, and the wrath that He has against them, because of His love for us. I find that amazing, but not as much as I think I should. I mean really, who would love someone else enough to pay their bail money or serve their time in jail for stealing a car or something else frivolous? Frivolous compared to what we have done - the Bible/God most often refers to the way that we turn against Him as adultery. Now, there is no 'legal' punishment given for adultery, but to anyone who has felt the emotional pain of it, I think it is fair to say that there is nothing like it. Our sins are, to God, adultery. And He hates that. And He loves us. And He took His own anger on His Son so that we would not have to face it. Do you understand that?
I sure don't.
But I do know that God has a plan, and it is a good one. I want to trust Him more, and I want to know Him more. I want to experience Him more, and I want to want Him more.

Scripture to consider: Acts 20:24 - However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Light Pollution on the Clouds

Tonight, as I was driving back to Lincoln from Fremont, I noticed a strange glow in the sky. I first noticed it on the highway right outside of Fremont, it was red-ish, but thin and not bright. I wondered if it was from the lights from Wahoo, and wondered less if it was from the lights from Lincoln. After driving through Wahoo, and Ceresco, I still saw the glow, but it was stronger, and I could see the outlines of some clouds in it. It was also larger. Apparently I was still approaching whatever was causing this glow.

Then, as I was approaching Lincoln (the last 2-3 miles outside of the city), I was about 99% sure that the lights in Lincoln were causing the glow. And the song God of This City started playing. (The song is at the end of this post.) So, as I was singing the chorus (Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city) and approaching Lincoln, I started to see the lights from the city. It was pretty magnificent.

And it was in that moment, or one of them near that one, that I felt something with God that I have missed for quite a while, I think. That feeling where God just shows you something you didn't expect, through a method you didn't expect, in a place you didn't expect. And He showed me that some of the greatest things that happen in a city or town are not the things that are written down in the history textbooks. And I realized that my life is one of those things. God has changed my life; He has altered my path to something greater than where I would have been without Him. I realized that some great things have happened in my life and in the lives of my friends, and those things will not be recorded as 'great' but we all know that some of the times we have had together have truly been great.

And I realized that there are still greater things to come, even in the city of Lincoln, even in the cities of Ceresco, Wahoo, and Fremont. Because it isn't about the size of the city, and it isn't about where the city is located geographically. It isn't about the financial status of the city or whether or not the city provides enough light pollution to put a glow on those stratus clouds in those December nights. Great things happening in cities happen because there are two things involved: 1) God, and 2) His people. When God's people are open to doing God's work, and when they are open to God doing His work in their own lives - their own hearts and minds...that is when great things happen.

Bits and Pieces

I am slightly frustrated. I have such a desire to help others. To help them through their struggles, their pain, their insecurities, and to celebrate in their successes, their joys, and their victories. I want to share so much of what God has shown me and blessed me with so that the blessing may also go to someone else. But I don't know how. I want to so badly, but I feel like I just hit a roadblock, because I don't know how to continue. I feel like no matter what I do to try and 'get the word out' it won't be enough...whatheck.

How many problems/arguments are caused by misunderstandings? Or miscommunications? Or assumptions? I see people who have different views of the way reality is, and they think that they are being attacked when views are stated. Recently it has been pointed out to me that emotions/stress can stack on each other and cause relatively small things to seem larger than what we can handle. Perhaps that is playing into it- we get stressed and worried and then some small thing happens and we find an opportunity to 'take control' of some small part of our life, and we end up stepping all over someone else because we think we need to be in control of something, even if it is just a small conversation. Why do we do that? (Link here to Jessica's blog)

And now, interruptions make my night. Thank you to Carol and Jenny for being rambunctious, bubbly, hug-giving, and my friends. You two mean so much to me :)

So, this is a piece of my life right now. These are some bits of my thoughts. And I hope you find them encouraging, and I hope to put more of them up here, because I want to share with you some of the things God has shared with me.

Verses to end with: Ephesians 4:29-5:2

You may not want to read this...

...the whole way through, but trust me, it should get better. Challenging things always do, don't they?

So here is my challenge to you (and myself, haha always myself included in this) : Consider that you are small. Realize that you are small. Accept that you are small. And then...well I'll get there ;)

Earlier today, I was talking with a friend about how life is beautiful. More than that, she was explaining to me how life is beautiful, because, I'll be honest, it is hard to see at times. And lately, it has been one of those times. I have been going through, well, no. I know people who have been going through tough times lately, and that weighs on my heart.

And she mentioned how it feels to stand at the base of a tall building and feel small, almost as if the building is about to fall on top of you.

And here we are.

A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago. Twas my first time there, and I was in the downtown part of it, as I understand things. I saw taller buildings than I have probably ever seen (not counting the Space Needle in Seattle) and it was fantastic. I mean that in the etymological (with the root of 'fantasy') sense as well as the common-societal sense (as in being wonderful or something). It was hard to walk while looking up at the buildings, because I felt like I was going to fall over. Even just standing still and looking up at the top of one of them made you feel like you were falling over if the clouds were moving behind the building. Crazy stuff!

A couple weeks ago, my grandma passed away. The only other death in my family I have experienced was my great-grandpa, but I was significantly closer to my grandma. It is an odd thing when someone who has always been in your life is gone, and for a long time. As in, until I go to where she is now. It may seem ironic, but death is a part of life. Everyone, no matter your wealth, skill, social influence, popularity, or anything else you can think of, will die. Even God, when He was a human on this earth, experienced death. We seem to get so used to life (Tangent: What is it to really live vs. just survive?) that we are almost surprised by death...it is a reminder that what we have here is temporary.

Have you ever tried to take in the vast complexity of our planet? (please forgive me for the potentially cheesy vernacular) Have you thought about the different cycles and processes that allow it to continue to do what it does? Do you think about how weather is the way our planet circulates heat around its surface? Do you realize that the primary source of energy for our planet is about 93 million miles away, but that to be any significant distance nearer to or farther from it would be to end life as we know it?

We are small. Yes, we have made it outside of our own planet's atmosphere, but at a significant cost: it uses money, time, resources (materials like metal and oxygen and whatnot), and even the very lives of some humans and other animals. We have to be concerned about falling a distance that is more than our height. How many people die each day because they do not get adequate food or clean water?

And how many of those people matter? If 10 people die in an accident, how many lives are affected?

Have you ever watched the ripples in water when a single rock is tossed into it? Have you seen what happens to the ripples when multiple rocks are tossed into it? The resulting ripples from throwing stones increase exponentially in complexity when more rocks are thrown. Humans are more complicated than water. What do you think happens to us when 'rocks' are tossed into our lives?

We are small. And we are of such great importance. We were made in the image of God. Now, what that means, I am not entirely sure. But what I do know is that nothing else in all of creation was made in the image of God except humans. Stars and galaxies were not made in His image. Mountains and forests were not made in His image. Angels and oceans were not made in His image. But we were!

When God decided that He was going to come to this earth, to limit himself and become a human, with human qualities - physical and otherwise - He knew what was going to happen. He knew He would be rejected and scorned, insulted, beaten, spit on. He knew He would pay the price that was deserved by many. He knew that He would take the wrath and punishment that the Father directed towards us. And He still planned on it, from the day before creation (see Ephesians 1). He counted the cost worth what was to be gained (Isiah 53) - our hearts, our minds, our entire being.

You are more than the choices that you've made

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes

You are more than the problems you create

You've been remade

Cause this is not about what you've done

But what's been done for you

This is not about where you've been

But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel

But what He felt to forgive you

And what He felt to make you know...

You are more. (by Tenth Avenue North)

We are small, and we are more than what we are. haha funny how God seems to cause seemingly contradictory things like that. We are wretched and beautiful, sinful and righteous. Although, to be fair, we are wretched and sinful, but God makes us beautiful and righteous. Right on :)

Thoughts on God and Our Perception - ish

God loves us, yes. And we want to see that, we want to have evidence of His love. We always do; we find it hard to believe that someone really loves us when we don't see them showing that love in some way.

And we sit here and pray and sing and read, and we keep wondering, where is God's love?

But I think we too easily forget the most significant display of His love, as well as the experiences we have had in our own lives of His love and compassion...

We also forget the 'small' things He puts in our lives every day - food, (warm/cold) water, couches/chairs, cars, clothes, stuff like that.

But, it is still harder to seek Him and praise Him in the times of bad....isn't it? It is easier to praise God for being loving when we feel that love. It is easier to ask God for help when we feel His presence in our lives.

Keeping our eyes on the prize, does God's love or presence in our lives change? Or is it just our perception of those things that changes?

So why does our perception change? If we are not feeling the Lord in what we do and think, what are we doing wrong? Maybe it is what we aren't doing that is wrong? Jesus often went to solitary places to pray. He sought His Father more than anything on this earth, and He stayed focused on His Father more than anyone else on this earth. That seems logical, right?

What would happen in our lives if we earnestly sought the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? And what does that even look like, anyway?

And now, change the perspective. What are things like from God's point of view?

Obviously, we don't know. But can we speculate? I honestly am not sure about that either..

Let's start with what we know... God wants to be with us, right? I mean, He wants to be with us so much that in order to be with us He took the punishment that was necessary to bridge the gap (so to speak). He wants to be with us so much that He even sacrificed His own Son to the wrath that was due to us. Wow.

Now, in order for that to have its full effect, we first have to understand our sinfulness in the light of God's goodness. We may think we are 'not that bad of a person' by a human standard, sure. Maybe even a 'good person' by the human standard. But on God's standard, we are all evil. We have all fallen short. We all fail to meet the requirements of holiness. And so, we deserve punishment. We deserve separation.

But God doesn't want us to receive those things....isn't that something? God doesn't want us to receive what we deserve. The wages of sin is death, but instead God gives us the gift of life through His son.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saves a wretch like me!

Yet still...do we always feel encouraged by that? If the joy of the Lord is our strength, what brings the Lord joy, and therefore brings us strength?

How long must I wait, must I wait for You?

How long till I see Your face, see You shining through?

Cause I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me

I'm on my knees; Father will you turn to me??

[Hold my Heart - Tenth Avenue North]

Storms, Clouds, and other things that block the Sun

When it is cloudy, I have a tough time seeing the sun. When it is storming outside, I usually do not see the sun at all. It is disappointing that the same happens to other things as well. Have you noticed how easy it is to get down when you don't hear positive comments? If I had to guess, I would say that you, too, have had a time (or times) in your life when it felt like there were only negative comments being directed towards you. Clouds were coming in, storms were on their way.

When it is storming, it is hard to feel the warmth of the sun. We forget that it is summer when the rain is cold and the wind is driving. We forget that the sun even allows there to be rain, for without it the earth would be a frozen ball. Have you seen Pluto lately? The sun's warmth does not extend there. It is cold. There is no rain; there are no clouds.

But while we are here, and we are here, it is hard to see the sun sometimes. It is hard to remember the ones who actually love us and care about our well-being. We hear the sneers, the mocking laughter, the lies that we are a waste of air. What else is there to think about when you are in the middle of a hurricane? I know for many, it is hard to imagine. I do not know what it is like to be in the middle of any sort of serious storm (at least one concerning weather)...I am thankful for that.

But when you are in a storm, when the wind is blowing and the rain is coming down; when the clouds are dark and the sun is not visible. When it feels like the night may last far longer than only until the next morning. How easily we forget that life has rhythm...there are seasons of heat and cold, life and death/hibernation. There is rain, there are rivers, there is evaporation. There is respiration, there is photosynthesis. Things go in cycles. Do you think humans are an exception to that?

What are the storms in your life? What are the clouds that try to block out the sun's light and warmth? Are you fortunate enough to have someone who holds a mirror, or a lamp, to remind you that there is still light, warmth, and hope, even in the midst of these dark clouds? Or do you keep looking at the clouds and saying, "There is no sun. I thought there was once, but now I see I am wrong."

No, you are wrong now. The sun is still there. Clouds do not negate the existence of light. Storms do not cause warmth to cease from coming to here from the sun. Simply because one essence is in abundance does not mean the opposite or alternative is no longer around. It may simply mean that it has been pushed somewhere else. We seem to forget that. People say, "There is no God, because there is evil." Would someone say, "There is no sun, because there is darkness." I should think not. Could it be that, because there is darkness, there must be a source of light? For what would shadows be, if they were not a lack of light in a certain area? Could it be that what we understand as darkness is not true darkness, but just a shadow?

This is abstract, I am aware. For those of you who have understood the metaphor, congrats, and I hope you get a lot out of it. For those of you who have not yet seen the metaphor, here it is:

God is the sun. The Son is the sun. The sun is the Son. Source of light, warmth, and life. God may seem to be blocked out by things like sickness(not just of the physical variety), pain (again, not just the physical), lies, stress/worry, or just the day to day grind of this life. These things are clouds. They get in the way, they block our view, they make this world colder. But those things seem to forget that, apart from God, they would not exist. (And to not exist is not beneficial for anyone, anything, any time. As CS Lewis said, how can you say it would be better for you to not exist?) That is just...wow. How often do we consider that? Without God, there would not be clouds. There would not be light, warmth, life, or rain. I'm not sure if the analogy extends this far though.

Do you know what happens when you move above the clouds, when you get closer to the sun? It gets colder. A lot colder. The temperature in the earth's upper atmosphere gets below the freezing point of water. But do you know what happens when you get close enough to the sun? It gets too hot, too bright for us to bear. We become consumed, literally, by the heat and light. If we start travelling closer to God...things may seem to get colder. Do you understand that we are in a battle? The enemy does not want you to be warm.

I think that is it. Not much else is coming. But here is the reason I wrote this:

My inspiration was disappointment. It felt like an old wound being re-opened. Like the band-aid was ripped off and the scab scratched until it bled again. It hurt. It still does...but the band-aid is back on now...and I do hope the healing process continues..

I know...well many people who are going through this I think, but there are a couple of friends in particular. When I talk to them sometimes, I can almost visualize them standing in the middle of a tornado of lies. There is no light or warmth, no truth. Only lies.

You are not a good friend.

You really messed up.

You can't do anything right.

This person doesn't really like you.

You still can't do that right.

No one wants to be around you.

They say that it is just hurting you, but it is actually good for you. Keep up the good work.

What you did was good, that person deserved that insult you gave them.

It's ok, even if you would have spoken up, they would not have listened. Just stand back and watch, after all, everyone else does that too.

You are not pretty.

You are not smart.

You are not a good person.

You are not worth their time.

You are not worth anything at all.

You are not good enough, and you never will be.

Are you familiar with these voices? Have you been surrounded by lies, so thick that the truth seems no where to be found? Have you noticed that sometimes, the lies are just missing a piece of truth?

Your friends appreciate you for who you are.

You may have messed up this time, but I am a God of second chances. I will not leave you.

I have put my Spirit inside you. Whatever you do with me is good.

This person loves you more than you know; they just don't know how to tell/show you.

You will learn, just keep trying, don't give up! You are a work in progress, and when I am finished, you will hardly recognize yourself. I will not leave you.

You have no idea how many people would love to spend a day with you, and only you.

You have been seeking things that are not Me. You have been hearing voices that are not Mine. I will give you a new heart, and you will be healed. I will not leave you.

Do not repay evil for evil; let every word that comes from your mouth be uplifting and encouraging. You do not know what that person is struggling with, just as they do not know what you are struggling with.

Have you read the story about Jonah? He spoke up, the city listened, and thousands of people were saved. You have the chance today to change at least one life.

You are made in My image, and you are beautiful. When I look at all I have made, I cannot keep my eyes off of you. You captivate Me.

I want to teach you so that you will know, and give you wisdom so that you may teach others.

You are not a good person, but because of what My Son has done, I now see you as holy, righteous, and blameless. And guess what? I love you just as much now as I did then.

I have been with you every second of your life. I will not leave you. You are worth it. I have thought about it since the beginning of time, and you are worth it.

You are worth more than anything else in creation to Me. Because of My love for you, I have given Myself in your place. I have purchased your life with Mine.

On your own, you are not good enough, and never will be. But with Me by your side and in your heart, there is not stopping us. I am always with you, and I will never leave you. You are mine, and I am yours.

Do you feel the warmth? I do...these things do not come from myself - if they did, I would not put them up for many to see.

Do you see the light? I have, and I long to see it again.

Do you have clouds and storms in your life? I sure do...and it is always nice to be reminded of the sun- to be reminded of the Son. God is good, all the time. I hope you are reminded of the Son, even when the storms are coming in.

Honestly (Oooh, Ooh)

Honestly is a song by VOTA, and when they sing the word 'Honestly' it is followed by some "oohs" which is why they're there.

anyway. Honestly. Do you feel the weight of this world caving in on your heart and soul? Do you feel the lies of this world eating away at your thoughts and emotions? Have you been deceived by all the pretty things that steal our eyes away from what is truly important? Do you seek satisfaction by the creation instead of the Creator?

Honestly. Would you rather live in a world of lies? Would you rather have the truth, even if it tore you to pieces? If living in a world of lies was comforting, but the truth hurt...which would you choose? Would God be enough for you? (check out John 14:6)

Honestly. Have you felt that pull, that tug, that shove, that sting, that comes from trying to be 'different' while living in the same place as everyone who is 'normal'? Have you been hard-pressed, struck down, left in the dark, perplexed? (check out 2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

It is the night, but joy comes in the morning. Though we will have trouble in this world, He has overcome it. The fear of being alone is nonsense in the presence of God. (check out 1 John 4:18)

Did you read that? Perfect love drives out fear...I have written about that before, somewhere on here :P Have you experienced that perfect love? Do you thirst for that perfect love? Or do you settle for a cheap shadow, a counterfeit that is used to deceive and spread lies and more fear? Don't settle for what is less. Seek and you will find, that is what I read and that is what I believe. (check out Jeremiah 29:10-14) If you think God is a liar, and He doesn't mean it when He says that you will find Him when you seek Him with your whole heart, but aren't willing to prove it by actually seeking Him....then I would say you are still unsure. You are afraid that He won't be there. I am afraid that He won't be there. But I know that His love, His compassion, His timing, is perfect. And nothing in this world is going to change that.

Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. [Matthew 24:9-14]

Before I begin to feel this weak...

Satisfy me, Lord of all.

Satisfy me, I'm begging You,

Help me see, You're all I want, You're all I need

Oh satisfy me Lord!

So I'm listening to the song Satisfy by Tenth Avenue North. And these are some lines I would like to include:

In me oh Lord can You create

A pure heart cause I'm afraid

That I just might run back to the things I hate

Do those words resonate with you? Because I don't know about you, but I definitely seek satisfaction in things that won't provide it.

I have sought satisfaction in music

I have sought satisfaction in friends

I have sought satisfaction in videogames

I have sought satisfaction in television and movies

I have sought satisfaction in many things that will not satisfy me. They may give a temporary 'good feeling' but if they don't fill me up...then is it worth it?

If you are thirsty, and you drink salty water, will it satisfy your thirst?

If you are hungry, and you eat a salad, will it satisfy your hunger?

If you are lonely, and you turn on the tv or radio, will it satisfy your loneliness?

If you are scared, and you pull the covers over your eyes, will that satisfy your fear?

If you are sad, and you decide to eat ice cream, will it satisfy your sadness?

The list goes on....when you are _____ and your try to satisfy it with ______ [not God] then what will you end up with? Maybe it will be temporarily lessened...but have you noticed that things like thirst, hunger, loneliness, fear, and sadness seem to come back...almost rhythmically?

Have you experienced the complete-ness, the fullness, the satisfaction that comes with knowing God and experiencing Him? Have you been more aware of God's presence around you in such a way that when you consider these auxiliary items of life, they just seem...inconsequential?

Do you want to experience that?

I sure do. I want to be consciously aware of God all around me in everything I do. I want to be more aware of His power, His Spirit that is living in me. I want to feel the love for others that I have felt before, the love of wanting them to feel the love that is felt for them! Do you know what I am talking about? ..Do you know that you are loved?

I want to be satisfied by God. I want Him to satisfy me so that I do not seek satisfaction in other things- in lesser things. I want God to satisfy me so that I would be reminded that He is always faithful and never gives up. I want to be reminded that there is so much more to our existence than this life and this world!

Really though, I think a lot of it comes to this: I want my life to be different. If what I am doing is not showing the results I am desiring...then why continue? Why keep doing what is not giving you what you desire? Why keep drinking salty water? Why keep eating only things that will make you hungry again?

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” [John 4:13-14]

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. [Deuteronomy 8:3]

A comment on society: We have, at this time, probably the most advanced civilization this world has seen. We have the highest standard of living. We have abundance that a hundred years ago was only dreamed of. We want water, we turn a nob. We want food, we open a door. We want a friend, we click a button. We want light, we touch a switch. We want to be entertained, we push a button. We have all this, yet we have at the same time, probably the most antidepressants used, and the most lives lost to suicide. Lost because they don't feel good enough. Lives lost because they don't feel like things will get better. Lost because they are hurting and don't think anyone else understands. What is wrong with us? Why are we so lost? Are we pursuing things that won't satisfy us? Or are we striving for the The One that will provide us with all we need? Do we know what we need, or does our Maker know exactly what we need to function, to thrive?

Do you sense my frustration? I am upset! I am tired of being let down by this world! I am tired of not caring, of not knowing, of not hearing! I am tired of being a fool, being a jerk, being broken! I want pure water. I want to be satisfied. And I know of only One that will satisfy me today, tomorrow, and forever.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. [Romans 8:22-25]

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” [Revelation 21:1-4]

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. [Revelation 21:6-7]

If you are like me...

then you probably listen to music. Even sing along with it every now and then. And if you are like me, you may not often think about the lyrics of what you are singing, what they mean, and whether or not you mean them.

However! There was one night when I was thinking about the lyrics I was singing. They were, "There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning"

A variation is, "Though the sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning"

So I was thinking about this, and my first thought was, "Do I actually believe that? When I am stumbling and tripping and afraid of the dark, in the dark, do I believe and look forward to the morning, when light breaks through and warmth surrounds me once more?"

That is also my question to you. (or, I would encourage you to ask yourself that, since it is phrased in the 1st person ;P)

The following is (sort of) my thought process....

Well, do I actually believe that? Do I believe that, though the sorrow may last for what feels like a very long time, that there will be happiness again? I would like to think that I do, but do I really? To be honest, I would say yes, but that is not while I am in the middle of the night, trying to stay dry during a storm. This is not when I am trying to resist the winds and storms of this life. This is when I am in a warm house, with a comfortable chair to sit on and food and water surrounding me. What else should I want?

So lets go to a time when things were not so hunky-dory. I was confused, sad, disappointed, and wondering what had happened. I was feeling alone. I wondered what had happened, how things had progressed to where they now were. I was glad to be alone, but I so desperately wanted someone to be with, someone to hold. But there was no one to hold. No shoulder to cry on.

I wanted to see the light of dawn. I wanted to behold the joy of His truth and love. I wanted so badly to be reassured that things would turn out ok. That things would turn out good. That things would get better than they were. But, as they say, it is darkest before the dawn.

You know, I don't think that is actually true. Just before the dawn, you should be able to tell that the sun is almost up, and you should be able to see that it is crawling its way up over the horizon. No, I think it is darkest when the sun is the farthest away. When the sun is on the completely opposite side of this planet. When we may have the light of the moon to see by, if we are lucky. That is when it is darkest.

It is interesting though. When the sun is literally the furthest away...it isn't much further away than it normally is. The distance from the earth to the sun is about 93 million miles. The diameter of the earth is (does a quick internet search...), at the equator, almost 8 thousand miles (7,926.28). (At the poles it is 7,899.80 miles in diameter. How about that.) So, when the sun is shining on the other side of the earth, it is only .0086% further than it is when it is shining on 'our side' of the planet. That is a pretty small difference. (yay maths!) Interesting, I find it, how our perception of things is not always accurate.

Long story short, things did get better. I realized that I do have friends I can hug and talk to and get advice and comfort from. I was reminded that God's grace extends beyond our brokenness. I have learned so much from that experience, and I have become much stronger because of it. I now know that things do get better, even when they feel like they have become the worst they can be. I have learned that I can go on, that I can keep on keeping on with the strength that God provides me. I have learned that when we are weak, He is strong.

So, I feel like yes, I can say that I believe that even when it is the darkest night, the sun will rise again in the morning. I believe that even though things will get bad, even worse than what I can imagine, they will get better, and even better than they were before. I am convinced that God works through all things for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. I know that even though I may not know what will happen, I know it will be good. I know that God is good :) and I am so thankful for His mercy towards me.