Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Let's do Another Love Post

Alright so here goes something.

I don't think I have asked this yet, but how do you know someone loves you? Or, if you are not sure if you can know whether or not someone loves you, what gives you hints that someone loves you? If you prefer, what evidence is there that a given person feels love towards you? What is it that gives you reason to believe that a friend, family member, whoever it may be, loves you? Do you really believe it? Or do you just know that you are loved, and you struggle to believe that it is true?


  1. There are only a few people who i really know love me. My mom being the main one. I know she loves me because she would do pretty much anything for me... not that love is all about actions. But she is always there, and will always be there. No matter what. I can't say that about many people. I was asked a few weeks ago by my small group leader to think of the one person i love most, and of course i thought my mom. Then i was asked if in one hand there was a gun pointed at her head and the other hand there was a bible, and if i chose the bible she would be killed, but if i chose her than i couldn't have God. Honestly, i would probably chose my mom, which may be horrible and make me an awful person, but i really haven't known God for all that long. And my mom has ALWAYS been there for me and has ALWAYS loved me, it's harder for me to believe that God has also. Maybe just because He isn't tangible, and sometimes I can't feel Him with me. But i don't know, it's a really difficult choice to make, and I get where she was going with it, that we need to put God first, but i think we also need our mothers and people to reinforce God's love.

  2. I think sacrifice is a good indicator of love. A sacrifice may be prompted by a sense of duty or obligation, but those are closely related to love.

  3. Kaylee, I really appreciate your honesty :) I think moms are a good example; they do so much to sacrifice and give for their children (as C. Cary said ;) )

    Thank you both for your thoughts!

  4. When someone loves you, they give you respect (I know that may sound dumb, but it’s not. Think about it, if someone doesn’t show respect for your feelings or a respect for you as a person, they can’t possibly love you). Someone who loves you will make you feel important and they’ll keep contact with you. They’ll write funny stories on your facebook wall, they’ll leave funny phone messages, they’ll leave notes for you to find, and they’ll text you just to say hi (and these are only a few things they could do). They’re okay with/want physical contact (like hugs…or sitting against each other when talking). They want to spend time with you and they’ll also make an effort to make you to laugh and smile (often times making someone laugh and smile involves picking on you, but in a playful, non-hurtful manner). Also, as dumb as it may be, someone who loves you also feels like it’s necessary to tell you to ‘drive home safely’ or to ‘be safe while you’re out’ because they don’t want anything bad to happen to you…EVER…and they want to tell you those things in hopes that nothing bad will happen to you because they can’t bear to think that anything bad would happen to you (I’ve wanted to tell my friends things like ‘drive home safely’ and I don’t say it because I don’t want to be their parent, but I’ve realized that I want to say that just because I love them). And I guess in theory you’d also know that someone loves you if they outright say they love you (but I generally discredit them saying that they love me because who knows how much the word ‘love’ means to them...and it’s generally hard for me to believe just because their actions may say otherwise).

    I think that conversations are usually pretty indicative of how much someone loves you...if someone loves you, they just want to know what’s going on in your life (they want to know the good as well as the bad) and they’re really empathetic. They’ll patiently listen to worries and concerns and they want to make sure you know that they’re there to talk anytime I feel it’s necessary (or any time I don’t feel it’s necessary :D ).And for me, I feel really loved when I talk to someone and they do their best to stop or at least suppress whatever destructive/damaging/hurtful thoughts I may have…and if they’re successful at helping to get rid of some of those thoughts, then I feel really loved.

    With family, I guess it’s assumed that they love me, but I have a tough time believing that they do because they don’t do many of the things that I listed off, but they did a lot of that stuff in the past. And I don’t see some of my family members very often, so it’s harder to believe them just because it isn’t being constantly reinforced.

    I feel like some of my friends do quite a few of these things on a regular basis, but I could never be sure they love me. I don’t want to assume they love me just because they’ve met some (or a lot) of these things because I have no way of knowing if my friend is intentionally fulfilling some of these things or just naturally (and thus accidentally?) fulfilling some of these things. If they’re intentionally fulfilling these things knowing that I’ll feel loved, then they must love me. But if they naturally fulfill these things and don’t realize they’re causing me to feel loved then it’s like a pseudo love. I mean, I care about my friends a lot and I know that with guys it can sometimes cause ‘mixed messages’ and make them believe I’m interested in them :P

  5. Oh yeah...Nick, how about you? What gives you hints that someone loves you and do you believe it?

  6. McKinzie, I really liked reading your thoughts. Those were good, and I felt like I could relate to quite a few of them :) One of the main ones was the difference between someone saying 'I love you' and the way they act. From my experience...and this is a little pessimistic, but words are cheap, and actions are what really matter. If someone doesn't show that they love you, what value do those words really have? But if they show that they love you, then do they have to say them? I think it helps to hear it...especially depending on who you are.

    As for me...
    Actually, I made a list earlier! I was listening to a song, and it inspired me to write a list of things that make me feel loved...I'll find it :)
    hugs, talk with me about meaningful/deep/spiritual things, encourage me, be honest with me, let me know you like having me around, respond to me, don't blow off things that are important to me, remind me that you are there, let me know you more, remind me that you are there for me, laugh with me, help me through my 'down' times, ask me how I'm doing-mean it-and wait for an answer.

    Those are some of the things that make me feel loved by another. There are many more things, but I think this is a decent list. haha although if you want more, I have a feeling you will ask :P

    Oh dang..I just saw your last question...do I believe it...
    Well, actually this list was partially composed so that I would believe it. I made it up so that I would have it, and then be able to look back and see which of these things had been occurring, and remind myself that, hey, I am loved. I think we have (at least briefly) discussed the difference between knowing and believing..and I have a hard time believing in this case, so things like this tend to help me out in that.

  7. I'd sure be interested in seeing said list. :)